Energetically speaking, women can be likened to gardeners: tending and nurturing themselves, their children, their relationships (both intimate and their network) and the planet. In so doing, they fulfill their biological destiny. At the deepest level of being, the  female gender is biologically inscribed to seek peace, support others to achieve their best potential and to connect easily with others.

When we understand in a spiritual context what ‘connection’ truly means, ie, that all living beings, including human, animal, plant and planet, are connected to one another in a seamless ‘whole’ that creates the All That Is, we can truly begin to see the critical role that women play in the life process as connectors.

We can also begin to recognise that separation does not support a healthy, sustainable life. In fact, researchers tell us that cells in isolation cannot survive. We have to be connected to live optimally. Connection enables all aspects of life and underpins healthy eco-systems, including those at a more personal level, such as the family or a workplace environment. Hence, interpersonal relationships are not only critical to survival, but their quality has been linked with levels of happiness or contentment, which in turn has been demonstrated, through research, to be a factor in a long healthy life.

Interconnectedness means that every thought we have and every emotion we feel affects every other being, in a constant subliminal interactive stream. We can no longer indulge in the belief that our thoughts are ours alone, because on a deeper level they are being broadcast to everyone in our ‘field’ and being picked up on an energetic level by those around us. Thoughts generate emotions which can be easily be ‘read’ by others.  For example, when was the last time you felt someone’s anger or knew someone was depressed, even though no words had been spoken?

Women are known to easily intuit the emotions and thoughts of others.  This is because their biological design equips them to. It is an aspect of their gender specialisation that enables them to fulfill a major role that Nature prescribed for them: to carry the baton of evolution through to the next generation by having babies.

Men on the other hand are highly specialised to be good at separation. This allows them to compete; for a mate and for provisions for the family they generate.

So according to Nature’s basic plan, which has worked pretty well up until now, men and women have clearly de-marked roles assigned to them.

The trouble is though that as well as carrying out the physical imperative that Nature planned for us, we are also highly conscious beings and most of our evolutionary development has taken place at the level of the mind and soul, which is genderless, or rather bipolar, as it contains both a masculine and a feminine aspect. So how do we engage at the level of the physical, where our genderisation dictates moods, values, behaviours, ways of thinking and even our physical prowess?

Somehow, to be authentically who you are born to be, you need to act out your genderised imperative (for some of you that may be as a gay or lesbian) while still expressing the spirit side of your being, consisting of mind and soul, which contains both a masculine and a feminine aspect.

As we said above women are genderised to connect – they are therefore good at being in relationships.

Men are genderised to be separate – they therefore struggle with relationships – they are not innately good at it.

Women interface with men, in many different ways, not just sexually as lovers, but as wives, mothers, mentors, work colleagues and friends. And, without a doubt women need men – they are biologically inscribed to need connection and equate love with intimacy. Women love to love and love to be loved. Woman need men.

Men interface with women in many different ways too. But unlike their gender counterparts they are biologically inscribed never to show how much they need women. But, of course, men need women. However, the masculine nature is designed to mask the deeper need for closeness through the appearance of nonchalance, courage and self-sustenance. Men love to be strong and to be seen as strong and silent. They love to be loved too, but often have difficulty in expressing love. They get bamboozled by their woman’s emotional intelligence.

Many relationship troubles reflect this basic lack of alignment between men and women and it often translates into a lack of easy communication between couples, be it verbal, emotional or sexual. At the soul and mind level many couples are a perfect match…..but at the physical level they seem to be tongue-tied and twisted when it comes to understanding their gender differences and that they look out of different windows at the world about them, including at the expectations they each have within their own relationship.

Energetically, women and men complete a biological circuitry that is a fundamental of life, through which life renews itself over and over again. As individuals, we are bound to the physical programming we are born into (masculine, feminine or gay), but we also have a powerful mind and soul directive that can learn and understand how to reconcile our gender differences to come to a place of mutual fulfillment and love.

The journey involves first coming to an understand of the biological drives that motivate our own behaviours, values, dreams and aspirations. As soon as we identify the window we are looking out from (our own bias), we can then engage our higher wisdom to apply to our living situation and start the journey of understanding the other.

Being polar opposites, women and men, are meant to be different.

Your relationship will come fully alive for you when you can celebrate the differences to create common ground.

Spirit of Woman’s next workshop, The Essence of Relationships explores the differences between you and your partner that can be the cause of much distress or which through creative understanding can lead to a creative, fun and pleasurable flourishing of your relationship. The day is sprinkled with laughter, joy, ah-hah moments and the recognition of a capacity for deep love within your intimate and family relationships.

The workshop, based on my book The Essence of Woman, speaks to men just as strongly as it does to women. In the words of Neil, the husband of a woman who attended one of my seminars:

I have just read your book and was impressed by your understanding of the male psyche. Few female writers are able to empathise the way you have articulated the male perspective. I enjoyed the book and found it insightful

The Essence of Relationships workshop describes how certain e-motions, as energy-in-motion, are more specifically the domain of the female energetic patterning, and that other e-motions are more likely to be expressed by a male than a female. It demonstrates the fundamental differences in the way females think compared to males.

Physically, emotionally and attitudinally, females and males seem to be poles apart and yet together, they create the full complement of humans being. In reality, we all have a wholistic soul that has no gender specification. In this workshop you will learn how to attune to your soul, harmonise with your body, whether you are male or female, and bring joy into your life.

Enjoy your journey…………

To book for The Essence of Relationships online, click here.


The Spirit of Woman essence blend that smoothes and enhances your relationship and helps you to attain a compassionate awareness of your own needs and the needs of the other is:


To buy it online click here…….



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